Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Purell-ing Doorknobs

Or, my Mother's code about plumbers.

So, the plumbing in our house has been kind of weird lately. Ranging from "Hmmm, that's funny..." weird to "This fixture is possesed!" weird. First of all, our toilets quit working and when the plumber came to roto root it, he found tree roots in the pipe.

Which is strange enough, in my book. Apparently, this is not uncommon though, or so he said. You can never tell with plumbers. The twinkle in their eye is awfully hard to detect. But the toilets started working again, and I thought no more about it, except a while ago, when going down to do some laundry, it smelled like an open sewer. And behold, there was sewage (yes, the raw, brown, smelly kind) literally on the floor of our basement, coming from this big drain under our laundry tub (which is next to our washer and dryer).

We will pause for a moment of remembrance concerning my Mom's expression. And don't try to picture it. You had to be there.

Okay, I can go on. So after the whole reaction, a different plumber came to fix it. Somehow it involved unhooking the washer and everything went downhill from there. I can only report what I heard, for I was upstairs, but I was sitting next to the vent and heard this...whooshing noise. It was followed by shrieking. It continued, and continued, for a few minutes. Eventually it died down.

I tread cautiously down the stairs and saw my Mother, holding a mop and bucket, dripping wet, gaping at the plumber, who was also wet and sheepishly holding the faucet. Somehow the man had lost control of the faucet and it sprayed all over the place and spread the sewage further across the floor, since it couldn't go down the drain. And soaking them both.

All was right in the end, but it was touch and go for a bit there. I mean, for the plumber.

But let us back up for a moment, to before the plumber's arrival. My Mom was expressing shock and horror about the last plumber's sense of hygiene. To ascertain the problem, he flushed the toliet and stuck his hand in there, to feel the degree of pull or something, pulled it out, made some grunt of satisfaction and shook it off. My Mother watched helplessly as he trod all over the house, touching who knows what, without washing his hands.

She related to me, as she squirted Purell all over the doorknobs following his departure, that "You have to follow them around and open doors for them, do things for them, because they can't while they're working."

So the second plumber arrived and headed downstairs, with my Mom hot on his heels. I know not what his transgressions of hygiene were, only that I heard this excahnge through the vent.

Mom (over-eager): Here! Let me get that for you!

2nd Plumber (in good humor): Aw, no thanks. I can get it.

Mom (with desperation): Really! Here, let me-

2nd Plumber (tickled, but still the gentleman): No, no, I can get it just fine. Thanks.

I only hope they couldn't hear me laughing from upstairs.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

A Repentant Blogger

I'm afraid I have been bad. I haven't updated with anything resembling regularity and have even gone off into the stratosphere for stretches of weeks. But I am not dead, only delinquent.

And strangely (or not so strangely considering Life and all it's aspects) there was an avalanche of things to do after we got off the media fast. Articles and tiling and long visits to my Grandmother's and excursions to the flower show in Chicago. And THEN I finally found The Restaurant at the End of the Universe at my library and greedily checked out the whole rest of the Hitchhiker series.

The nagging realization of my abhorrent selfishness bothered me into further procrastination, into I just couldn't TAKE it anymore. So I am back and am wondering if everyone else's blog has given them odd neuroses and enough emotional baggage to flatten a Clydesdale.

Oh, but I have more assigned reading for you all.

The Code of the Woosters is one of the best Jeeves and Wooster books I've read. They're all wonderful, but this one is really in top form. Besides, if you've read the others and heard Bertie refer to an incident with a cow-creamer, this is it.

The Butler Did It is, yes, Wodehouse again, but not Jeeves and Wooster. It is one of his other delightful books about a group of young people, a butler, an art curate and the entanglements they get themselves into. This is one of the best non-Jeeves, non-Blandings novels I've read.

And I know everyone and his nephew have read the entire Hitchhiker series except me, but I finally picked up the rest of them and have been devouring them accordingly. The Restaurant...etc. are really good. I just finished Life, The Universe and Everything and they have been good, except for slightly depressing endings.

But I must go, I must write some e-mails and work on some other writing projects which my Mom wants me to (when I said I was updating my blog, she gave me a dissapointed look.). Oh, but one last thing, I saw Mr. Smith goes to Washington last night. Again, me being drastically behind the times, but whatever.

I did, however, like it. Pardon my ignorance, but I didn't know that's what a filibuster was until I saw the movie. I thought it was just some sort of legal document you filed. Practically holding the Senate hostage though, is way cooler. And all that sappy goodness about Truth and Idealism...ahh. I can't decide which is better, Jimmy Stewart's filibuster scenes, or Claude Rains' corrupt senator breaking at the end. Both were such great actors.

But, really must go now! Have spent an inordinate amount of time over this...but that's what I get for being emotionally involved!

*Edited for spelling by her brother*

*Brother given stern talking-to about hacking into sister's blog without telling her, even if it was to change spelling*

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Breath before the Plunge

Hello! Can't post long, just have to let everyone know that I won't be on for a week, because our whole family is taking an electronics fast for this week. It's been coming on for a while now, but was announced today. The Oscars were like the last bash before the plug is pulled (at least for a week).

And on a sidenote, who is ecstatic that Brokeback Mountain didn't win Best Picture!? C'mon, it may have gotten every other one, but it didn't get the big one. That's got to be God. But P&P didn't even get Best Original Score OR Art Direction. How phony is that? I didn't mention the costumes because I didn't like them, but I LOVED the look of the movie and the music. LOVED the music. But must go now and get some SLEEP.

See y'all later!

(It's alright, I was born in Texas, I can say y'all. It's like, my birthright. Only I may have given it up by not liking Mexican food. Or spicy anything for that matter...hmmm.)